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When Someone You Love Is Terminally Ill: Ask About Palliative Care Early

Posted on by Char Weeks

When you hear that a loved one has a life limiting illness, take the time to find out what palliative care can offer — including the different ways it can be delivered.

Palliative care isn’t only about dying. It’s about living as well as possible for as long as possible, with care that focuses on comfort, dignity and connection. Palliative Care Australia explains that good palliative care is available at any stage of a life-limiting illness.

This year, I’ve supported three people through palliative care to end of life care. Each journey taught me something important:

  • One didn’t know what palliative care was.
  • One didn’t want to hear about it.
  • One didn’t realise that with good community palliative care, he might not have ended up resenting that he would die in a transitional care bed in a public hospital.
  • As a carer, having support from a palliative care team can make all the difference — helping you navigate the system, cope with grief, and preserve your sanity.

Too often, palliative care is framed as end-of-life care. As soon as people hear the word “palliative,” many panic—believing their loved one is about to die.

But here’s the truth: when palliative care is offered early—soon after a terminal diagnosis—it can help people live better, and sometimes longer.

It’s not just for patients. Palliative care supports families, friends, and carers—helping them cope with the emotional, social, and practical realities of serious illness.

The gap in access

The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) estimates that around 109,000 Australians each year could benefit from palliative care. Yet only about 41% receive specialist palliative care in their final year of life — and many only in the last 15 days.

That means thousands of Australians miss out on care that could ease suffering and improve their final months.

The situation is even harder for those in rural and remote communities, where specialist services may not be available 24/7 like they are in many metropolitan centres, travel is a barrier, and primary healthcare is stretched. In these areas, advice lines and telehealth can bridge the gap.

How families and carers can help ensure timely palliative care

  • Ask early – Don’t wait for a doctor or hospital to raise it. If your loved one has a life-limiting illness, ask whether palliative care could help now—not just later.
  • Learn what’s available – Use the National Palliative Care Service Directory to find local services, including home and community care.
  • Reach out for advice – Call national or state palliative care advice lines. Trained professionals can explain options and help you plan next steps.
  • Involve the GP – Your GP can refer to specialist or community palliative care and coordinate ongoing support.
  • Stay informed – CarerHelp offers free, practical resources for families and carers.
  • Speak up – If your loved one’s comfort, dignity or quality of life is being overlooked, raise the issue. Advocating early can make all the difference.

Where to find help

If you’re unsure where to start, the National Directory is your best first step.

Take home message

I’ve seen firsthand how different things could have been if people had known earlier what palliative care might offer.

Please don’t wait until crisis strikes—ask about palliative care.

It can make all the difference in how the last chapter is lived.

Share this resource

Learn more about palliative care. Listen to our podcast with Esther McMillan-Drendel, Manager, Victorian Palliative Care Advice Service.

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