“I Don’t Have Long to Go” – What Do You Say?

When my aunt visited her dad one Saturday, he smiled at her and said quietly, “I’m not much longer for this world.” She laughed it off, replying, “Don’t be silly, you’ll be here for ages yet.”

Less than two weeks later, he died.

That memory stayed with her. How did he know? Was it intuition, a body’s quiet wisdom, or simply acceptance? We may never know. But what is certain is this: people often sense when their time is near. Older people sometimes say it. Those with terminal illness say it too — and often with deep conviction. Sometimes it’s a way of preparing us. Sometimes it’s a way of letting us know they’re ready.

The problem is that we often don’t want to hear it. We rush in with “don’t be silly” because it’s painful, because we want to keep them close. But by doing that, we may miss something precious.

Over the years, I’ve learned that when someone tells me “I don’t have long,” I don’t shut the door on it anymore. Instead, I gently ask:

• “Have you seen everyone you want to see?”
• “Have you said everything you need to say?”

And I encourage their loved ones and friends to do the same — to say what they need to say, to express love, to offer thanks, and even to settle unfinished business. These conversations can bring enormous peace at the end of life.

Because sometimes, those simple words — “I don’t have long” — aren’t about fear. They’re an invitation. A chance to prepare, to connect, to finish the story together.

If you’re unsure how to handle these moments, you don’t have to do it alone. Support is available via the Australian Government Carer Gateway. If your loved one has a terminal illness, consult the National Palliative Care Service Directory to find support in your state.

In Victoria, you can also call the Palliative Care Advice Service on 1800 360 000 for free, confidential advice. They can guide families through these conversations and connect you with the right care.

So the next time someone says, “I don’t have long to go,” pause. Listen. Lean in. It may be one of the most important conversations you’ll ever have.