Carer Burnout – It’s a Thing (and You’re Not Alone)

Being a carer for someone you love can be relentless. Exhausting. Sometimes thankless. It can feel like you’re running a marathon without water stops—except the marathon never ends, and someone keeps moving the finish line.

Those of us who’ve “been there, done that” often look back and wonder: how on earth did I keep going? We were permanently tired, putting our loved one’s needs before our own, and treating self-care like a luxury we didn’t deserve. Many of us were burnt out without even knowing it—yet we soldiered on.

If you’re new to caring, here’s a hot tip you’ll hear a lot: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Excellent advice. Did I listen? Absolutely not. (Spoiler: I wish I had.)

The truth is, carer burnout is real—and avoidable—if you learn to spot the warning signs. Here are some warning signs adapted from the Lung Foundation Australia:

• Trouble sleeping (or sleeping so much you could compete with Rip Van Winkle)
• Snapping at people over small things (hello, irritability)
• Brain fog—you read the same sentence three times and still don’t get it
• Avoiding friends, family, or activities you used to love
• Losing your appetite—or discovering a newfound love affair with comfort food
• Feeling guilty you’re not doing enough (hint: you probably are)
• Sudden tears out of nowhere
• Rollercoaster moods
• Feeling flat, hopeless, or like you just can’t keep going
• No energy left in the tank
• Disturbing thoughts about yourself—or about the person you’re caring for

If any of these sound familiar, please don’t brush them off. Talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. If your loved one has a terminal illness, a palliative care team can also be a lifeline.

Here’s the thing: looking after yourself isn’t selfish—it’s survival. Caring works best when you are well. So take the nap, say yes when someone offers help, go for the walk, eat the cake, laugh at the silly stuff. Small acts of self-care add up. Find more self care tips here.

And remember: even superheroes need naps, planes remind us to put our own oxygen mask on first, and no one ever won a medal for running on empty. You’re not alone, you don’t have to do it all, and you’re already doing more than enough.